illuminated of light divine
burning from within with joy
casting carelessly over hillocks and meadows
with prancing feet gliding o'er the snow
Monday, June 19, 2006
00:17
had a great wkend over at zz's place.."chalet" at his place is not e extremely fun kind...we spend quite alot of time rotting...stoning....playing mahjong...playing mindless game...watching brainless tv...but itz juz nice...i mean...itz great to juz spend quality time wif a bunch of frens...and take time off frm work, sch, other stuffs...to rot...and relieve back old days...and grow tgt...itz nice...really...
itz juz like a couple lying down nxt to each other not talking...juz feeling e peace...e presence...time stands still...itz dat kinda feeling...but wif frens....juz spending time tgt is juz emotionally great...
shld post some pics up...but i gotta get them frm tim first...
dis tradition has been on twice a year ever since zz got his condo...and now dat he has a car...itz even better! ha..no need to take bus 29 and walk e long route liao...
i wonder how long dis will last...xuan asked me dis ques..me and sijia replied e same way...when e organiser (zz) gets married...it will end...sadly...
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Sunday, June 11, 2006
02:26
went to veron's hse today...with some of e ocsv pple...glad to meet them aft a long time...
yeps we chatted quite abit...jingyi talked to me abt canada...wei2 contemplating on visiting me there too...and me and huiqi sighing bout interning life and who'll marry nxt...
and while the "adults" chatted bout working life and dis mkt dat mkt...seriously...i felt like a kid...i really din understand wat they were talking abt....i realise dat i'm really stuck in my small world of architecture...i really dunno wat my frens really do in their jobs...they do explain sometimes...but i dun really get them...sadly...
veron's hse is simple and nice...itz designed by her, her husband royston and ziqi...who's her classmate as well as my aki senior...too bad i din get to see e b4 pic..but frm wat i heard itz really an amazing transformation within a small budget and time frame...amazing...and nigel started asking about prices etc...wah...weddings do really cost alot...but veron's really lucky to have alot of frens who help her..seriously...her wedding is really cheap...even her house...renovations...everything...budget. she's really blessed...i feel really happy for her...seeing her "xin fu" expression...really...i wish my life's like dat too....
oh...her wedding pics r really nice....and ziqi and his gf made a really nice wedding photo album for her too...v v nice...oh well..sorry for e limited vocab...but dat's all i can say...really nice and tasteful...and i admire him too...he really did help veron alot...frm the renovations of e house to the wedding gift...wat a great fren...
which made me wonder...wld i do so much? i'm kinda ashamed...cos...i'm really a slack person...even for myself...i wun put in so much effort...i seldom put in alot of effort doing stuffs..y? cos i'm lazy...really...lazy...i always have great ideas...but i juz dun excute them properly....and they get forgotten...sadly....so now, i'm really sad...cos i see creative, hardworking people who r really passionate about their work....and i'm here, whining and complaining how come they're so talented and i'm not...seriously...i think itz about passion...and i guess i'm losing passion in life....somehow....
haiz...wat am i worth? really...
i used to think i'd be some career woman...living a single life wif my frens...quite cool ya...bachelorettes...
i used to be so independent and rely alot on myself...pushing myself to do better...to preservere...in sec sch, jc, and uni....well..i'm still surviving...
but somehow now...i feel...different...not so go-getter animore...as in, i'm not really ever such a go-getter...but now i feel even more nua than ever....if things dun happen i dun bother...i'll juz nua in bed and stone....and think and whine to myself and here and wallow in sorrow....itz so disgusting...but...i feel i'm evolving to some nua pig...oh gosh....
really....wat am i worth...
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