illuminated of light divine
burning from within with joy
casting carelessly over hillocks and meadows
with prancing feet gliding o'er the snow
Monday, March 16, 2009
11:17
as from today onwards, i have exactly 1 month to submission. i'm freaking scared.
there was a quote by this housewife on the new paper saying "for a 36 yr old, a 6 yr old's problem is nothing. but for a 6 yr old, a sch bully is the biggest prob in e world." right now, as a thesis student, the ability to pass and grad at the end of this sem is my biggest prob...and its freaking me out. sigh. thesis is really sucky. for so so many years, sch life has been relatively smooth. i mean, perhaps after all these and on hindsight, i might just say that i really wasted time worrying for nothing. perhaps. but right now, i'm really worried that in all my years of education, this wld be one big obstacle to get through. alot of friends from other facs tell me not to worry, i'll pass. its just thesis. sigh, but we archi students know that it is not as simple as the thesis of other facs. just write some crap and pass. this...we know...we might fail. and i don't wanna think what i'm gonna do if i ended up in that route. no way. i just wanna pass and get on with life.
life's too short to be stuck with studying.
***
Sunday, December 07, 2008
22:32
i finally accomplished one item that i've wanted to do for quite some time....to go run a marathon. haha...i feel proud that i managed to complete 10km for e first time, although the last 2km was kinda long and torturous. at least i didnt walk at all. its just for the experience, i'm not gonna pay so much to run again. and its so crowded cy and i spent e first 5km just weaving in and out of people. zl joined us after that and fortunately he spotted us cos of cy's top, and thanks to his pacing and support that i can complete the run, as we lost cy at the last 2km.
haha..the ironic thing is that cy and i were so so tired at the end of the run, and we looked worse than zhixiang who just completed 42km. and cy pointed out that his mean timing was even faster than us completing our 10km. and i dunno why i just felt shitting after the run, went to the toilet 3 times. zl says its a normal thing. oh well, its e experience.
i'm so tired now even though i slept the afternoon away. just feeling really drained. but i'm enjoying the hols..at least for now, when i'm not touching anything related to sch work. been watching alot of hk dramas...my rate is about 10 episodes a day, clearing 3 dramas in about 9-10 days. kinda tired form watching, even trying to start season3 of ugly betty is not catching my attention, and sianz after playing a whole day of psp yest. perhaps its time to start readings tmr. hopefully tmr will be a good day for readings.
***
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
23:45
zhenyuan says i havent been updating my blog..i'm surprised pple are still reading it. haha..
well just a short note here...currently i'm hating masters year and sch...which is making me hate my life now...but seriously, somehow today i feel much better than the past few days and wks and months, where previously i was so so miserable that i was contemplating quitting sch and just joining the workforce, be a normal working singaporean. i'm just kinda sick and tired from doing so much conceptual crap which more often than not, just crap. sure...if done well, it'll be ground breaking work which can somehow change the world, push for new ideas etc...but i'm NOT that kind of academic or inventor. i'm just not. haha. somehow i suddenly feel that i can actually be quite content to work and lead a peaceful quiet boring life. having similar sentiments with ollie...suddenly the past ambition of being a career woman is gone, replaced by the urge to just get married, be a housewife and taking care of kids, occasionally supplementing income by doing part time jobs which we actually enjoy. i guess only girls have that kind of luxury to think in such a way...societal norms allow us to rely on our future husbands for support.
my recent crazy thoughts envision a life where i stay at home, do housework, watch korean/taiwanese/english dramas, play the piano or give piano lessons to small kids (if possible), go for hairstyling courses so i can cut hair part time, freelance interior designs. of cos, all these "blissful" thoughts require my future husband to earn enough money to support me and the family and all my crazy expenditure (its really not that bad).
see...this is what masters do to you. make u go mad.
***
Monday, June 30, 2008
01:22
someone said this to me "if you don't wanna do it, don't do it! if you feel obliged to do it, make it fulfilling for you."
i guess this is the time when i should really keep this in mind...not only for myself, but for everyone else, esp CE08 members. i know we are all very tired and drained and "what the hell are we doing" kind of stage....but since we're already in such deep shit, we might as well strive through and make the best out of it.
and i also think its time to remind myself what life is for me, and what i should do to make it worth living this life of mine. i realise i've been complaining so much, yet i also know there are some people who can do twice the activities i do in the same time and feel happy and fulfilled by it. i think i just dun have proper time management or i've lost it over the years. i've somehow lost focus and discipline which now is essential.
so guys...jiayou everyone. we'll pull through....CE08, dissertation, work, whatever. we'll somehow pull through.
***
Thursday, April 17, 2008
00:13
well...as of today...my undergrad days are officially over! wow...4 yrs has gone by just like that...and i'm amazed we have survived 4 years of torturous archi sch...
i'm just quite saddened that after 8 sems...my final sem has to be my worst design crit...and for once i think i'll get my lowest design grade...sigh...just really disappointed in myself...cld have put in more effort, done more work, improved on my scheme and presented it much better instead of trying to finish it so early....haiz...oh well, learnt from this...must remember all my mistakes and not commit e same ones for thesis...but overall, i had quite some fun this sem...not so stressed...maybe i slacked too much...
ok...that's all i'm gonna write for now...tired...and its time to start on watching tv again! haha...
***
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
19:59
with the advent of facebook...pple hardly read blogs now..or even write/update for that matter..
well this wk is a dreaded wk...even thou cny has just passed, bday was yest and vday coming up...it's just a sucky wk....
my studio is currently rushing out our proposed masterplan by thurs and i think work is still very slow and all over e place...i seriously dunno wat i'm doing...i just pray things will turn out good..
i think we are slack...haha...its good and bad somehow...good in a way that we know when to rest and when to work...and we get to enjoy our cny and give ourselves breaks from studio...but bad in e sense that we are not efficient and coherent enough...things dun really merge well as a studio...i do like my studio, but somehow when doing masterplanning...things are just hair-pulling crazy...
i'm also v worried..i still do not have my dissertation topic yet..it's definitely time to panic..sigh...someone help...
***
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
01:21
i havent posted for a loooong time...that's because i've been so so bz at sch and well, just not in e mood to put up ani posts...
well..sem's almost offically over (woohoo! aft i submit my essay on wed)...and i'm so so glad i've survived this sem...
this sem is by far...perhaps one of the most depressing sem (can rival last sem, i dunno which is worse)...i cried much more this sem definitely, but somehow i felt better this sem than last sem aniwae...in terms of design...even thou this sem is really quite last min (changed my design up till the last wk and only finished my panel the day before, with model half-done), but somehow i'm kinda happy the way it turned out...at least i really like my panel...somewhat satisfied with the design (unlike last sem which i thot was kinda horrible)...and i have no stress even thou i cldnt produce a proper model (heck!)...
i've learnt alot this sem....learnt to be really independent for design...learnt to take research seriously...and learnt about the power of friendship and motivation....really, i've never felt so happy in my life for crit...well, by far i havent had BAD crits...they were all alright (sadly i didnt get As)...but this sem i was really v v happy aft my crit...and even more so aft yy and oli's crit went well...we've been struggling so much tgt in studio i really feel for them as well...and i was so glad (thank god!) that we all pulled thru tgt....
really prayed v hard this sem, even thou i dun have a religion..i just prayed that i pull thru....so thanks, whoever that helped....
i actually had quite alot of fun this sem...maybe cos alot of close friends in e same studio...there's oli and yy and weilin...and made other good friends like zhangyu and pinjie...and grace and mel will come and work with us...so all e late nites were fun with instant noodle, mochi icecream breaks...even whacky mad nites like stalking our tutor at his house...
nxt sem is the last hurdle to cross...for bachelor's..so jiayou all of us...we must work hard tgt in studio and stand by each other.
***
Saturday, September 29, 2007
12:42
it's worrying...
seeing all of us struggling with design...and midsem's almost over...
it's sad...just like that day when we were discussing how come our batch used to be "the best cohort" in first year degraded to "the worst cohort" for the rest of e years...
maybe we are just a cohort who's only good at rote learning and not creative contribution...
then i just chanced upon www.fivefootway.com, founded by seniors...
suddenly...i feel that our batch is so......indifferent? useless? i dunno...just cant be bothered with design maybe...or like wat tks said...intelligence without courage...
other people are able to do so many things...y not us? and we're just whining and procrastinating...
sigh...and i'm one of them...sigh...
***
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
10:03
yest one of my id friends asked me how sch was...haha...aft 4 yrs, both of us knew what the ans wld be....
well, i wld say sch gets more and more boring over the years....yr 1 was sort of e best time...it was fun hanging out in studio, slogging our way yet fooling about....yr 2 was abit more toned down yet made alot more friends and we learnt how to have more time and more fun outside sch work...yr 3 aft exchange was a terrible time, but we all pulled thru RIBA with help and support from each other...itz yr4 now, and somehow i feel like the cohort is getting more and more drifted apart...i guess it's the cliques and very mainly due to how our studios are organised...all of us are enclosed in our individual fish tanks, which cuts us away from our friends from other studios....it's really quite sad...i hardly see pple ard animore...i hardly talk to pple...the worst thing is not staying is hostel, so i have to spend 2 hrs travelling everyday which is sort of my stoning time..
it seems like i'm wasting alot of time...i wake up early, travel and stone...come to sch and stone for a while..before lessons start...then aft that stone...wondering wat to do nxt...then dinner, if at home, includes travelling and stoning again....then aft dinner slack and stone....and then try to do some work which proves futile....work can never be done at home...so stone till i'm so tired i slp....and there goes my day....SUX.
***
Saturday, August 04, 2007
01:08
had dinner with huiee, amber and all e student interns from ar+d.....thanx huiee for treating us...we went to brussel sprouts at robertson quay for dinner.....i must say food was quite good and service was excellent...haha...the guy who was promoting drinks to us...he was really v helpful and nice...well, brussel sprouts is a belgium restaurant specialising in beer and mussels...they have over a 200 different beers (and to our surprise maybe even e same number of different glasses for each brand of beer) and at least 20 ways different ways of cooking mussels....well...it was a great dinner...
then decided to head nxt door to the chocolate factory for dessert...ok, choc factory was a really totally opposite experience...itz fine that we had to wait for a while cos queue was long, and we had 8 pple....aft we were seated they forgot to give us menus till we asked for it...which was still fine....since they were bz....but when they were taking our orders, e waitress seemed unhappy that only half ordered drinks....and we only ordered 2 cakes and 1 souffle....worse part came when aft we were served halfway and still waiting for e rest of our stuffs to come, the manager came and asked if that was all we were ordering (in a condescending tone)...and told us that they were trying to do business and inexplicitly telling us to either order more food or leave quickly...cos there was still a long queue...wth, we were all kinda pissed aft that....well, that wasnt e only one....e 2 waitresses who served us were also giving us e black face....seriously, itz just really really bad service.....and food wasnt even that great....colleague said coffee tasted like tea.....itz just bad....and i wonder y itz so famous....well, we are gonna boycott that place...
then there was a lady who was lying on e ground not feeling well, just outside of the cafe...and staff from brussel sprouts came out with a bottle of water (so nice!) while staff from choc factory just din bother....see e diff....
ok...but overall it was a good gathering...
pple, just boycott choc factory. there are much better dessert places...really...
***
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